Continue reading »]]> Yes, I am MasterChef in the House with Desperate Housewives… and I am having a Flash Forward about C.S.I  which is in the Amazing Race against Bigg Boss 4  who refuses to recognise How I Met Your Mother over LA Ink on one of our MTV Kickass Mornings.

Well, this article in Adage.com says You Are What You Watch… so tell me, who am I?

I think there is a lot of merit in this article, but, is it so easy to ‘categorise’ people by what they watch? and then target them with ads accordingly?

Well ho bhi sakta, aur nahin bhi ho sakta… (maybe, maybe not).

I think there are two larger type of audience classifications we need to recognise, before we break them down into further sub-types. It’s like landing at a website’s homepage and being given the option of surfing it in ‘hi-bandwidth flash’ mode, or low ‘bandwidth html’.

I think we have to first choose if we want to target the “typical” consumer, or the “atypical” one.

The typical audience is the simple and predictable one: It consists of people who watch the same genre of shows, have very obvious likes/dislikes and values, and are very loyal to their viewing habits.

So you have “housewives” watching ‘soppy afternoon soaps’ and Oprah. Then you have “guys” watching ‘action’  shows and Baywatch. You have “old men” watching only the news. And you have “youth” watching MTV and [V] Dare to Date.

Within these its easy choosing your audience, based on your stated brand personality and objectives.

The atypical audience is complex and unpredictable: It consists of more evolved, multi-faceted people. Women who are as comfortable with C.S.I Miami and 24, as they are with Frasier, Masterchef, and Koffee with Karan. Men who are as comfortable with Anthony Bourdain and Desperate Housewives as they are with NCIS, Alias and Fear Factor.

Actually with rising awareness, gender equality, emotional intelligence, and both men and women showing interest and enjoying things previously reserved for the opposite sex, the quality and complex texture of shows today has dramatically increased to everyone’s advantage.

Shows like Lie To Me, Boston Legal, Numb3rs, and countless other shows cut across gender, SEC and other traditional classifications and have evolved an audience of their own.

So “media buying” isn’t as simple anymore. And of course, TRPs and other archaic ratings are just an indication of numbers, not the quality or character of the audience. Which is why, to me the article is a great starting point, but nowhere near being an authority on “media planning” and/or “audience classification”

A New Web Of Understanding Audiences

I have a theory I strongly believe in. Traditional media planning will be greatly enriched, if we understand online audiences better.

Because the web is free floating, unscheduled and always on, and everywhere – people roam and consume it freely, and in a way that’s not only comfortable to them, but also reflects who they really are and what they really like.

This adds to my conviction that the internet is a great learning tool and a treasure-house of ‘people-watching’ and consumer understanding.

Unfortunately, most of the industry involved in the internet today is still old school, especially when it comes to online media buying and consumer engagement. We still carry the baggage of traditional media, thanks to “online media planning” being done today by either tech-geeks or traditional media buying drop-outs.

But that’s another story.

Until then we will continue to debate the merits of audiences and what they watch. And how what reflects what.

Meanwhile, the show(s) must go on!

Ps. Here’s the link to the article on Adage.com

Continue reading »]]>

Having read and heard all the hype around Walmart’s cash and carry route into the Indian market with Bharti, two colleagues and I decided to check out their spanking new Best Price outlet at village Paragpur on NH1 between Jalandhar and Phagwara in Punjab.

It is a large swanky building with huge branding that prominently displays the word “Wholesale” – which has not deterred hordes of families trooping in for some “new kind of mall” experience (Viva Collage mall is next door). A “wholesale cash n carry” concept is alien out here (oye!! ay ki hai??)

Of course, they, and we, are stopped at the entrance, saying we need a Membership Card to get in. Turns out, Membership is only available if you are a retailer, which means you have to show certain documents (Sales Tax, Registration, etc) before you can enter the mother ship, and take off with goodies at wholesale prices, to further sell them to customers at retail prices, keeping your margin, and paying up the requisite taxes to the government.

Hmm. The only claim to being a retailer I can make, is the fact that my grandfather and his father before that, owned one of the largest retail outfits in north India way back in the early 1900s. So we did the next best thing we could do as good Indians – we made some calls and tada – we were inside in ten minutes!

Now the place is massive by Indian standards, but puny by international standards of even malls and places like Ikea. But the products and prices on offer were very impressive. From a considerable thousands of rupees on air-conditioners and shoes (yep, thousands on shoes!) to a few hundreds on everything, including good brands of shirts. I was of course, disappointed by the tiny margins on my favorite Gillette Mach 3 razor blades.

But hey, who am I kidding – our contacts may have got us inside, but they couldn’t get us to be able to shop

But that was not the case with the other Pappaji, Mummiji, and chota Pintu and Montu who were inside – with Membership Cards. They were all around the place, as were other aunties with bachchas, buying a jhadu, one pair of shoes, some tee shirts, and of course, sabzis.

Funny, out of the hundred odd people in the place, no one seemed to be really buying “whole sale”. They seemed to be just treating themselves to “great products at great bargain prices” without the bargaining!

Unless they were just buying “samples” and would come back later and pick up 5000 jhadus and 2 quintals of tamatar.

Trick or treat, only time will tell.

But at the time of exiting the place I noticed our parking ticket serial number was 648, and the parking attendant clarified it started at 001 with the opening the day before.

On a busy highway in the heart of vibrant Punjab, is that a good figure for visitors on day 1 & 2? Go figure.

PS: Noshtradamus has nothing to do with Bharti Walmart or Best Price. We are neither their representatives, consultants, pr, advertising, digital or any kind of communication agency. Nor are we their help desk. So we cannot answer any questions related to them, their operations, or anything else to do with them. To know more about them, I suggest you look here.

Continue reading »]]> There’s a lot of buzz around twitter and how its the next big thing in marketing… here’s a comprehensive and useful piece by Ann Handley

“AdAge calles twitter assinine.
Is it for everyone? No.
But twitter has real use for media companies
and social-media-savvy brands”

7 Ways Marketers Can Use Twitter >

And when you are done reading the above, check out this video via BarelyDigital

Continue reading »]]> As part of a monthly review of Indian advertising and marketing which I do for a far-east publication, I have been watching Indian political advertising very closely for some time now. I specifically mentioned the review, because if it wasn’t for it, I would have simply missed/ignored the ads… which is what I think most  people have done.

The Goop, The Bad, and the Ughly!

Most of the political advertising being released all around today is dramatically inane, and looks like it is targetted specifically on the blind spot of intelligent minds.

One slice-of-life, fits all

Most of the political have the same AV feel that comes from splicing disparate images shot at different times, to ‘lifted’ filmy tunes. The rest, particularly the ones by the opposition parties, blatantly challenge common sense and suffer from an acute lack of identity.

I am particularly apalled by the ads with talking heads sharing their pains and complaints about the economy, and how they’re going to vote for a party that has promised to change the economic situation!

Add to this are the one line ads by one party which actually promises to reduce prices and increase unemployment. Without taking us back to a closed economy of 20 years back, or worse enforcing communist doctrine, how are they going to realise such promises?!

Which brings me to the point of this post…

Who are these agency genius’ thinking up these ads?! They either have no clue of economics, don’t live in this world, or believe the people of India don’t have a clue of economics and have parked their brains on another planet!

In case it still hasn’t sunk in, it’s the economy, stupid! The economy is a sea of constant movement, with waves of progress, inflation, depression, and other economy elements incoming and outgoing from time to time.

Even though India is a relatively secure island in this unpredictable sea of global economics… it is not exempt from the international gales and storms that surround and cross its shores time and again.

To blame a political party for recession or rising interest and prices and other issues like terrorism that are rife all over the world is plain stupid. And you don’t need an economics degree to understand that!

Anti-incumbancy? Or anti-reality?

People who think they can cast away rising prices, inflation, and the recession by casting a vote against any government are stupid. And political parties that feed this belief are simply misleading the public, and should be led to the exit door.

Of course, parties in power (at the centre and state level) are doing their best to highlight their achievements – which again are partly thanks to the economy, partly due to the liberalisation started by the congress, and yes, partly due to the parties in power themselves.

The recession, prices and such economic issues are best addressed by good corporate governance, banking systems, pricing strategies… the problems we face today may be due to weak government regulation worldwide, but mainly due to corrupt and incompetent corporate management!

The real issues for electing a government in my mind are just two:

1.  Corruption all around: especially in the municipal organisations, the RTOs, the police, the list is endless… and of course corruption in politics.
2. The Communal and Caste Divide: we cannot choose a government based on religion or caste. the thought itself makes me shudder at the irresponsibility of such an action.

I just hope when people are out there voting, they’re listening to the voice of common sense in their heads, not the idiotic ads in the media.

Continue reading »]]> Contrary to popular perception (and current brand behaviour all around) you don’t pussy-foot around communication when you’re in the middle of hard times.

In Hindi there’s a phrase ‘bolti-bandh’ which is quite like the English one ‘the cat got your tongue’. Which leads me to say brands that lie low in tough times, stand the risk of behind seen as a ‘scaredy cat’.

Don’t get me wrong and think I am saying that we should indulge in the loud-mouth, open-wallet communication like a lot of brands have done in the past 4-5 years.

I think we need to find the right balance between verbal diorhhea and communication constipation.

These tough times are forcing us to do what we should have been doing all along – going through a rigorous process of finding the right thing to say, and the right way to say it. They are forcing us to define a more focussed and definitive position for ourselves, and work the media planning machine like it has never been worked before.

“To whomsoever it may concern” type of communication has to give way, and the “to you, to whom it concerns” approach has to step in. And “media reach” has to give way for “media relevance”.

I know folk representing or selling mass media channels will either laugh at this perspective, or throw some ppt slides at you talking about how their mass media channel actually reaches your audience!  Sure it does, like buckshot.

Which brings me to new media and the power of narrowcast communication.

And the beauty of it is new media and narrowcast communication works whether you have loads of money, or very little of it!

New Media, New Focus.

Admittedly most new media conferences do nothing to build a case for new media. The usual suspects gather to make the usual presentations on the usual case studies which they’ve been talking about for the past 3 years!

I believe no one in this industry really talks of the complexity of new media and the dynamic roles it can play in influencing and persuading audiences.  Perhaps no one really knows.

Perhaps peope are all selling the wrong case studies as I mentioned above. I for one would like to talk of something more basic – how approximately 30lakhs spent on print advertising in one month, got a client of mine approximately 300 enquiries. At the same time, 30thousand spent on Google AdWords in the same month got the same client almost a 1000 enquiries. And the conversion rate was higher among the AdWords call-ins!

The point is, if we can focus on getting new media right, we can get a lot of focus on our brands.

New Dogs, Old Tricks.

The trick lies in layering time tested marketing techniques, with new media technology. The trick lies in using traditional best practices of advertising and public relations, and applying them to the internet and mobile communication.

New media strategy is not about building websites online, but about building a web of insights online. New media campaigns are not about fancy virals, but about creating a fever pitch of focussed communication. New media is not about clicks, but about clicking with consumers.

That’s the basic simple truth of the matter.

PR kiya to darna kya?

Another great tool in tough times is public relations. I believe if done right, public relations has far greater and longer term value than most people (including its practitioners) give it.

Public relations can helps you make the right point to the right people, who in turn can put out the right message. You use it to educate and influence the influencers.

PR is the only media which actually allows you to even put across a 10,000 word sales pitch to an audience should you so require. How’s that for talking tough and straight?!

Getting it right

I believe recession is one of the final nails in the coffin of euphoria over mass media advertising. The recession is telling you stop wasting money on buckshot, and find new ways of getting your audiences in the bag.

Lesser budgets literally mean “focus your communication, and keep is simple and effective”.

Which brings me to digital media, activation, and public relations. The perfect tools for getting it right.

But in order to use the above effectively, you have to talk tough with yourself and change decades of conventional media conditioning.

Then you will have to talk tough with your ‘Clients’ who will still demand ‘cover-my-ass TRPs and Reach’, since that’s the only RoI most Marketing Managers know…

Communicating for “closure”, not “ask me for a brochure”.

Communication in digital media, activation and public relations is different and works differently from print and television ads. When used correctly, they can put your brand in the right place at the right time like no other.

Communication in these new media/methods put more pressure on you, because they place your brand right up in the face of your audiences in a relevant context. Which means your message better be right and to the point.

And when you’re up so close to your audiences, they will be more demanding and less forgiving. Which means when you get your one shot at the audience, it better be the right one.

Which essentially means, when you talk tough, you must also be ready to walk the talk. If not, then tough luck.

Continue reading »]]> 2008 was a hard-working year for India. As perhaps it was for the rest of the world. Not only did businesses strive to keep costs down and revenue up, people worked hard to keep their jobs alive and companies afloat.

The Economic and Industries Perspective

In terms of the economy, some sectors did very well, while some not so well. Industry, Agriculture, FMCGs and the Services sector actually showed significant growth. White Goods and Electronics stayed at decent levels. But Automobile industry and the Financial Sector showed definite signs of strain and pain.

Inflation in India rose dramatically in 2008 to 11%, against a low of around 5% in the previous year. Growth which has stayed above 9% during the past 3 years, showed signs of flagging, and the country is optimistic towards this end.

Global Impact

2008 was also a year when the global economic situation played a more significant role and impact on India and its economy. Unlike the past, when India was relatively insulated from the shocks and watts of international financial power play, in 2008 the impact was clearly visible. Inflows from large international investors dried up, Indian investments in foreign markets were put on hold, and in turn the stock market took a plunge that shook the roots of many companies and individuals.

The Rise of Terrorism

Adding to the above issues, India faced new and large-scale terror strikes by religious fundamentalists from neighboring countries in 2008. While they failed to frighten the nation, they certainly had an impact on slowing down business and lowering purchasing sentiment.

Reinventing Marketing and Advertising

Not surprisingly, marketing and advertising in India also moved from being creatively brilliant to being cleverly effective. As brands tightened their purse strings, agencies opened their minds to new media and ideas beyond the press advertisement and the television commercial.

Working harder and working smarter became the norm, as Clients challenged their Advertising Agencies and Marketing Consultants to get more efficient with lesser funds.

While detailed and reliable numbers are hard to come by, the indications are that business was not as bad as it seemed. And spends were down, not because of lack of funds, but because everyone was playing the ‘wait and watch’ game.

The top trends in marketing and advertising in 2008 can be listed as the following (in no particular order):

• The year of the non-event: 2008 saw fewer large events than ever before. In the social and cultural context, India is used to having various spectacular film & television, fashion and sporting events every year. This year they were few and far between. And those which did happen, remained low key, with not much advertising or promotional support being aired. The events did what they had to do with their small and select audiences, without the hype that usually surrounds them.

The reason for this is that most events depend heavily on sponsors, who in turn depend heavily on audiences with loose and happy wallets. 2008 saw them all go into hiding, while holding on to their wallets like never before.

• A shift in media mindset and strategy: As markets and consumers became fickle, the trend of moving from ‘mass media’ to ‘new media’ became even more apparent in 2008. Previously, brands were more tentative, as marketing heads did not want to experiment with new media and preferred to stick to known communication channels. However, as budgets were tightened this year, they were forced to find new and cheaper ways to communicate, and this led them to new media.

The shift may not have been dramatic, but brands began experimenting with the internet and mobile based advertising in order to gauge its effectiveness. The results have been positive for brands, emboldening them to use the medium more. Which is why, 2009 promises to see more and exciting campaigns on the internet and mobile platform.

• The rise of celebrity endorsement: As brands started to feel the heat on budgets, the need to get noticed and stick in the consumer’s mind became even more necessary. Despite the constant controversy surrounding celebrity endorsement, more brands signed on film and sports personalities to endorse their brands in 2008.

Brands like Samsung and Idea Cellular who traditionally used celebrities, continued to do so brilliantly. However, there were a host of new brands who tried the ‘celebrity endorsement’ route for the first time, and the jury is still out whether the celebrities actually helped them in any way – these include HP and Nokia, both of which signed on Bollywood star Shahrukh Khan.

• Rise of the citizen journalist: Related to the rise of the ‘new media’ and the internet, 2008 marked the arrival of the citizen journalist, and user-generated content and views as a force to reckon with.

The range of influence is spread wide starting from the basics with users posting and commenting on new television commercials of brands, to comparing products and services, to voicing their opinions and expressing anger where required on issues related to security, culture, public interest, and the country in general.

This phenomena revealed itself as a potent force when it helped provide informative support to people during the terrorist attack on Mumbai in November, and also forced a change in the political leadership by demanding accountability for the administration’s failure in securing its people.

In marketing terms, it was evident from the fact that celebrities started blogging, and began using their blogs to market their films and endorse brands wherever possible. At the same time, marketers started advertising on specific blogs, and public relations firms targeted bloggers and their ilk with press releases and information about new products.

Recruitment advertising in traditional media was supplemented, and often replaced by recruitment news being placed on social networking sites and spread by internet-word-of-mouth.

• The year of the CFO: In the final analysis, 2008 was the year when the CFO called the shots in every aspect of advertising and marketing. Because quite simply, the CFO controlled the budgets and demanded greater accountability on spends. Unlike in the past, where ‘creative vision’ was more important, 2008 demanded ‘creative value’ from marketing departments and their agencies.

As a result, large campaigns were fewer in number, and almost all campaign took safe, tried and tested routes.

In terms of Brand leadership and trust 2008 saw a shift in the perceptions and position across the board. Two major research studies which were carried out by independent organizations reflected these changes – The Economic Times’ “Brand Equity Most Trusted Brands Survey”, and WSJ-Mint’s “Campaign Top Marketers 08” ranking.

The “Brand Equity Most Trusted Brands Survey” placed mobile handset brand Nokia right at the top, displacing long time favorite Colgate! This came as a surprise to many, because Nokia is a relatively new brand compared to others in the ranking.

The ranking also reflects the fact that consumers are now giving technology products more importance in their lives than ever before. Besides Nokia, there were eighteen non-FMCG brands that made it to the list including old favourites like Titan, HMT and Hero Honda Splendor; telecom brands like Reliance Mobile and Motorola; and four South Korean brands namely LG, LG Mobile, Samsung, and Samsung Mobile.

The WSJ-Mint “Campaign Top Marketers 08” ranking picked out those brands and companies who managed to stay ahead with their innovative products, pricing and communication, despite the global financial meltdown and sagging consumer sentiment.

The study picked the following into their ranking:

Board of Control for Cricket in India (BCCI) for its Indian Premier League (IPL) tournament. The IPL took cricket beyond being a sport, into a new form of entertainment. And of course, the IPL became a great new revenue source for the Board and its players, as well as provided an exciting new platform for brands and advertisers.

Nokia. For its mind-boggling range of products and amazing pricing strategy, that includes offerings from Rs. 1,300 to Rs. 40,000! Add to this Nokia’s incredible understanding of consumers and its amazing ability to connect with consumers of all wallet-size and interests across the country.

Colors – The Hindia General Entertainment Channel from Viacom18. Despite being the 11^th player in the market, the television channel in a short span of time rose to the top of the heap in terms of ranking and popularity with an amazing mix of shows, supported by phenomenal advertising and public relations.

ITC and its various brands in the FMCG category. Foods and personal care products were not part of ITCs core strengths and product offerings a few years ago. Today, with a dazzling array of snack foods and personal care products under the Bingo, Sunfeast, Fiama De Wills, Vivel and Superia brands, it is a name to reckon with on any given day in any given market!

The Tata Group. The Tata Group was placed in this ranking for its vision and never say die attitude. From acquiring global marquee brands like Land Rover and Jaguar, to producing the world’s cheapest car, to re-opening its Taj Mahal Palace & Tower Hotel within a month of a devastating terrorist attack, the Taj Group helps India hold its head high amidst the global financial meltdown and security threats from anti-social and anti-national elements.

The list goes on further to include: Maruti Suzuki for maintaining its leadership in an extremely tight and tough 4-wheeler market; Vodafone for its brilliant transition of millions of consumers from Hutch which it bought over in India; Hindustan Unilever for its initiatives that helped it hold onto its leadership status in a market plagued with inflation, rising costs, and aggressive competition; ICICI Bank for maintaining highest service quality standards and raising the bar in terms of products and services as India’s largest private sector bank; and Coca Cola India for unrelenting sales growth throughout the year supported by a great combination of unique products, pricing, and marketing efforts.

The Agencies Behind-the-scenes

Behind the scenes of all this activity were the advertising agencies which faced the brunt of reduced budgets and increased pressures. They all came out on top, working harder and smarter, re-inventing themselves in the face of changed consumer and economic scenarios.

The “Brand Equity Ad Agency Reckoner 2008” powered by IMRB sums up their ranking and contributions to growth of brands and the industry in India.

In the overall rankings, Ogilvy retained its No. 1 position, and JWT did a comeback at No. 2, followed by Lowe at No. 3.

Mudra, McCann Erickson, Rediffusion DYR, Leo Burnett, Contract, RK Swamy BBDO, and Draft+FCB Ulka made up the rest of the top 10 in that order.

Both Ogilvy and JWT held their positions in specific areas of Creative, Client Servicing, Account Planning, 360 Degree Solutions, Innovation, and Partnership with Clients as well.

In terms of Media Agencies, the ranking was topped by Mindshare at No. 1, followed by Madison, Starcom, Zenith Optimedia, and Allied Media in the top 5. OMS, Lodestar Universal, Maxus, Carat, and TME made up the ranking from 5 to 10.

Keeping with the changed marketing scenario and mix, the Brand Equity Ad Agency Reckoner ‘08 also added three new categories of ranking this year. They included, and were topped by:

Digital Specialist Agencies ranking was topped by Webchutney, Hungama, and contest2win.com respectively.

Design Specialist Agencies ranking included Ray+Keshavan, Elephant Stragegy+Design, and Landor at the top 3.

Brand Promotion Agencies ranking was topped by Candid Marketing, Solutions Integrated Marketing, and Encompass Events.

The Brand Equity reckoner also ranked Corcoise Films, Black Magic, and Equinox as the Top 3 Ad Production Houses in India.

In summary it was a tough year. And 2009 looks to be even tougher. But seeing the industry’s ability to stay afloat and swim well against the tide last year, the belief is that the industry will only innovate, reinvent, and accelerate in the years to come. Of course, making the assumption, is the easy part!

Continue reading »]]> “Ouch!” That’s the first thought that struck me as I picked up the newspapers this morning. No I am not referring to the coverage of the FM’s interim budget, but to the full front page ad for State Bank of India in the leading and very-expensive-to-advertise-in newspapers.

The full-frontal assault hurt for two big reasons:

1) You don’t spend this kind of money to advertise anything in today’s market scenario – especially to promote a brand we’re all well aware of.

2) The creative sucks as it reeks of a lie – SBI claims to be “The Banker to Every Indian”. Sorry to bust your bubble, but that is just not true. SBI is not my banker, and neither is it the banker for many, many people I know.

With this false claim, you the bank (SBI) and the agency (Interpublicity) are asking to be slammed by ASCI and every other body/person who monitors untruths and false claims in advertising.

Admittedly SBI is a huge bank. A respected one at that. It also has a long history with many Indians. And I personally have been a fan of its intelligent and insightful communication over the years.  But to make claims like this current one doesn’t help SBI’s reputation of trust. And to do it in this wasteful manner, is adding insult to injury.

Continue reading »]]> A couple of days back, I read an interesting article by Atul Hegde, CEO of Ignitee, on the role of digital agencies. I agree with him that the industry although nascent, is already bankrupt when it comes to ideas.

The fact is, so-called digital agencies today flood clients with the same old SEO and SEM formulas (read d-i-y google ads), pay huge money to buy banners on homepages of email portals like they’re buying conventional media, and end up making the same corny bollywood-spoof virals for every client and every job.

Not surprising, because most so-called digital agencies today are nothing more than over-grown, over-paid html or flash shops, or ex-ad guys pulling the same ‘you don’t understand creativity’ crap to pass off mediocre campaigns to un-informed clients.

Which is why at every digital conference you same the same old speakers, giving the same old spiel, and showcasing the same old case studies we’ve been seeing for years - and no one goes back to work saying ‘hey let’s put some serious money behind digital marketing and advertising!’

Quite simply, it’s time clients got more demanding, and digital agencies got more responsible.

Here’s an excerpt from Hegde’s article. And you can read the rest of it on livemint.com following the ‘more’ link.

“Fuelled by a collective banktrupty of ideas by both publishers and agencies, we have created a scenario, where the medium has paid the price of over-accountability, with campaign reports and data points providing you with orgasms, rather than information about the actual campaign and its engagement with the consumer.”

read more here>>

Continue reading »]]> There was a time when, as an ad agency person, all the Marketing Managers I interacted with were experienced, scary people who knew their jobs inside and out, and could even teach me a thing or two about my own.

Likewise, Marketing Managers today are scary people too, but for different reasons. Most of them are professional novices with around 8-10 years experience. As I hear them speak I realise the only things they’re actually capable of doing, is remember a complex combination order of tea, coffee and coke at meetings with the Managing Director.

Their lacking the two basic foundations of marketing – knowledge and experience – puts them on a road guided by Ignorance and its first-cousin Arrogance. And the only reason I would call on them, is if I want to murder my brand.

Flashback to Good-Old Days:

The Norm: Meeting them was a challenge because you had to have done your homework, you had to have your thinking and perspectives clearly in place for whatever it was you were discussing, and you had to have dotted the ‘i’s and crossed your ‘t’s in whatever it is you were presenting.

The Exceptions: The exceptions in those days were the Marketing heads of what we called “lala companies”. Here the Marketing/Corporate Communications head was usually a clueless but trusted family retainer, who organised all the meetings with Lalaji and always prompted us with what Lalaji wanted and what Lalaji liked. In private a lot of them would confess to not having a clue about what to do, and would just go with their trust in “the agency”.

I learnt this as a junior (and arrogant, aggressive) creative person, and lived with it as one of the guys at the top years later.

Cut-to Today:

Today, things are different. While the average professional age of so-called Marketing Managers is between 8 and 10 years, their average mental age and behaviour is that of a 13 year old (real, not professional age).

Most of the new age Marketing Managers of today are hired because they look smart and talk smart, and not because they think smart. And they come in two types: The MBA and the PMBA.

The first type of MBA (or Masters in Business Assininity) comes from a class A management institutes like IIMs and throws his weight around because his mind is deluded by the money he’s suddenly being paid.

He’s usually one of the left-overs after the Investment Banks and other top dollar international companies are done with their hiring. He usually gets placed at middle level in a decently large MNC in India.

The second type PMBA (or Pretend Masters in Business Administration) comes from B Grade management institute which usually named with variations and combinations of the letters “I” and “M” often repeated and with additional letters like T or J something… Most of them gloss and mumble their institute names in the hope that you’ll mistake them for an IIM. But in reality, they’re just that – wannabes. As a result these graduates add more bluster to their demeanor in order to sound like a real MBA. He usually gets hired by wannabe MNCs and Lala companies who don’t know any better.

This type is typically found at SMEs who have suddenly grown and realise the need for a “marketing department”. And they’re also the kind you find in home-grown MNCs.

MIND YOUR OWN MONKEY BUSINESS! Image (c) GorillaTank.com

The “Shut up and do as I say!” Syndrome

Few of these designated Marketing Managers today are briefed about their roles and responsibilities. And most are not taught the rules-of-engagement. All they are told is to “get it done”.

So they drive around blindly – ignorant about the basics of marketing and communication, and insensitive to the spirit of teamwork and professional respect. Their favourite stated and unstated refrain is “I am the client, shut up and do as I say”

The main reasons for this are:
1. They think they know everything
2. They don’t know how to take advice or help
3. They will not escalate matters to their bosses when they start to go out of hand

I remember once recomending evaluation parameters for a project to one such pup at a home-grown company in the airline management business – and she wrote back a nasty email to me saying “You should do what you are asked quietly, and not to tell me what to do!!!”. The rest of the deranged soul’s email was even more absurd and vitriolic!

Reading her email, I felt very sorry for the poor thing. And I felt even more sorry for the company that hired her – because hers was a classic case of the blind leading the blind!

On the other hand, here I was bringing 20 years of professional experience gathered from some of the best MNCs in the world to their doorstep… and her 20-something ego was refusing to let it in!

The point is this – three simple thoughts I’d like to put into every marketing manager’s head, and something which should be put into their job descriptions:

- Perhaps the other person is right
- You don’t keep a dog, if you are going to do the barking yourself
- When you are full of yourself, there is no space left for improvement

Live by these simple rules and you’ll probably be a successful and well respected marketing professional. Ignore them, and it’s likely both you and your brand will die and unsung death – murdered by marketing.